Making Life Suck Less
Words by Monica Corcoran Harel
Photos by Kelsey Wisdom
For the record, Stephanie Wittels Wachs did not settle in Northern California to live out some “Big Little Lies” fantasy. However, the cofounder of the podcast empire Lemonada Media admits the spicy HBO show was her “only frame of reference” for the area before moving here from her native Houston in 2022. “I’m a water sign and I always had this dream that I would live by the ocean,” she says on a recent afternoon from her home office in Pacific Grove, where she has a view of the coast—and where she just finished writing a draft of her second book, a follow-up to “Everything Is Horrible and Wonderful: A Tragicomic Memoir of Genius, Heroin, Love, and Loss.” But the real impetus to relocate here also inspired her to launch a whole new career in media at almost 40: Life can be brutally short.
Wittels Wachs, now 44, knows this well. In 2015, she lost her younger brother Harris—an L.A. TV writer with a cult following—to an overdose. He was just 30. Sudden loss makes you seize the day. In his honor, she launched a podcast about the opioid crisis called "Last Day." She also made the big move from TX to CA. “I was like, ‘Let's move to this gorgeous place. We have one shot—and we might die.’ That’s how we live now.” “We” includes her husband Mike Wachs, who serves on the Pacific Grove School Board, their daughter Iris, 11, and their seven-year-old son named for her brother. Her parents followed her to Pacific Grove. Wittels Wachs is an Olympic-worthy conversationalist. She’s honest, joyous, thoughtful and unwittingly hilarious. Over an hour, we chatted about everything from grief to getting older to where to find the best sea glass.
It's so easy to get entangled in grief—and have a hard time moving forward. But the loss of your brother Harris actually shoved you out of your comfort zone.
We would not have uprooted our entire family and made the trek to California if my brother was still alive. I would not have this company if he was still alive. There are so many things that would not be so because I used to worry about losing everything. But when things are terrible and you lose everything and you survive it, the anxiety goes away. You’re like, “I can do anything.”
And you did! You started Lemonada in 2019—during a pandemic, no less—and built an empire. What's your superpower?
It’s not really a superpower. It's a mission that came from an incredibly organic place. Our brand statement is “Make life suck less.” My partner [Jessica Cordova Kramer] lost her brother too and she literally stalked me and forced me to create this company with her. We didn't set out to become moguls. We wanted to save people's lives. I literally said to her, “My brother died. Your brother died. How do we make other brothers not die?” That was the original goal and now, it’s more like how can we create this content and community that makes all those hard things in life easier?
You brought in Julia Louis-Dreyfus to host “Wiser Than Me,” a podcast that features older iconic women like Jane Fonda and Isabel Allende. What do you love about aging?
Every year that goes by, I feel more in my body and in my skin. I am more confident with just who I am. When I was younger, I had so much anxiety. And the older I've gotten, the more I realize I'm a bad bitch. I’m strong, I can make change, and I can do whatever I want.
Lemonada Media also produced David Duchovny’s podcast, “Fail Better.” How do you deal with failure?
Technically, my entire career is a failure. I went to Tisch Drama at New York University for acting and directing. But the city was too hard. It was too difficult for me to audition. Then 9/11 happened and I moved back home. I couldn’t hack it. So I taught high school for eight years, and that whole time I felt like a failure. There’s that dumb saying, “Those that can’t do, teach.” But the more time that I am alive on this planet, the more I believe that failure is not real. It’s just an opportunity to recalibrate and do something different. I always feel a mix of success and failure in any given moment.
Speaking of success, how did you land the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, as your newest podcast host?
This is how we land all of our talent: We just get in a room and we talk. And then, the superpower is bringing out the best in them and putting it in an audio format. Meghan was drawn to the idea of making life suck less. Her show is called “Confessions of a Female Founder.” And I think she was also drawn to the fact that we are a female-founded company. It was a great fit. We’re not like this giant corporation where you're never going to talk to us again after the first pitch. I worked my tail off on that show. Oh and she may be the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyeballs on.
What’s next for Lemonada Media?
For me, it will always be about making positive change. I like to say, “I'm a glass half-empty kind of girl.” I have a real doomsday spirit. But the cynicism also drives me to make the world better. One of my producers recently called me an optimist because I have empathy for everyone. There’s something to that.
Have you found your people in Northern California?
Yes! I have met the best women here. I made so many new friends. I even got my nose pierced with one of them. My husband and I say that it's not cool where we live. It's kind of off the beaten path so you need to intentionally want to be here. Nobody talks about pop culture or keeps up with the hot gossip. There’s a depth to people, which I really appreciate. And I live in a small town of 14,000 people after living in cities all my life.
Your brother Harris died a decade ago. How did you commemorate his passing this past February?
My mom and the four of us went to L.A. for three days. We ate at my brother’s favorite ramen place and my mom and I got tattoos that say “Harris.” We drove by his house and my daughter was like, “Let's go knock on the door and I can tell them my uncle died here.” We didn’t do that. My mom and I both agreed that we thought we would be so sad. But we weren’t. When you lose somebody, you will always have that sorrow—especially in the beginning. But you will also have joy. We love Harris. We miss him. And it sucks. But we have each other.
That’s beautiful. Let’s be hypothetical and pretend I have just one hour to spend in Pacific Grove. What should I do?
Oh my God! Oh my God! This is a great question. First, you’re going to Captain + Stoker café to get a cup of coffee. Wait. I’m coming with you! Then, we'll walk down to Lovers Point Beach to see all these beautiful tide pools where there are starfish. Then, we’re going to collect shells and sea glass. There are tons of sea glass. We keep all of our shells and sea glass in a jar in our foyer. But you have to wear a hoodie, okay? It’s a cold beach. We’re not in Southern California.
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Monica Corcoran Harel is a journalist, screenwriter, and founder of PRETTY RIPE, a multimedia platform for women (proudly) over 40. She also writes about beauty, fashion, wellness, and culture for The New York Times, New York Magazine, and The Hollywood Reporter. Her first feature film is set up at Netflix and she is currently developing her viral essay “My Mom Has No Friends” into a sitcom for 20th Television and Mandy Moore.